Choosing a keyholder

What a keyholder is for

A keyholder holds the decision about when you unlock. For some that is literal: they keep the key. For others it is the end date and the permission. Either way, what makes it work is that somebody else is involved, and you both want the same thing from it.

On chastity.report one person holds your key at a time. They can set your planned end, send tasks and notes, and build training packages with you, but only the parts you switch on. Anybody else you share with can read along and holds no key.

Who makes a good keyholder

Trust comes first, then interest. A partner who is curious, a long-term friend in the scene, or somebody you have talked with for a while can all work. What matters is that they will take it seriously, that they will check in with you, and that you can say no to them without it becoming a fight.

Be wary of anybody who wants control over everything at once, who is not interested in your limits, or who asks you to keep it secret from people you would normally talk to. A good keyholder makes the lock easier to keep, not harder to live with.

How to ask

Ask plainly, and give them room to decline. Say what you want (somebody to set your end date, a daily task, a check-in), what you do not want, and how long you would like to try it for. A trial of two or three weeks is a good start for both of you.

When they agree, send them an invite from Sharing. They see only what you switch on for them, and you can change it any time.

Agree the terms

Write down what you have agreed: a lock target, how often tasks come, the limits that are never crossed, and a date to look at it again. Terms on chastity.report do exactly that, and either of you can offer them. Nothing is enforced; it is a record you both agreed to.

Put limits in plain words: health comes first, no tasks at work, no photos, whatever yours are. Review them when the date comes, and reopen them earlier if something is not working.

The pause is always yours

Whatever you agree, you can pause your keyholder with one tap on Sharing. While paused they see only that you paused and can change nothing, until you resume. You never need a reason. Knowing it is there makes it easier to say yes to everything else.